


Ease My Mind

by notimmortal



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: And because I love him, Because it's based on his music, Declarations Of Love, First Kiss, Gen, Getting Together, I have no idea how to tag this fic, Light Angst, M/M, References to Ben Platt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 05:16:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17781257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notimmortal/pseuds/notimmortal
Summary: "Darling, only you can ease my mind. Help me leave these lonely thoughts behind. When they pull me under and I can feel my sanity start to unwind, darling, only you can ease my mind." - Ben PlattOr:Jeremy and Michael, together, helping each other through.





	Ease My Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello!
> 
> I meant to put this up yesterday but then the "Ease My Mind" music video dropped and I was so focused on watching it 8 million times that I forgot to post this, so now I have 2 fics up for Valentine's Day.
> 
> Oddly enough, this was finished before the music video was up, but it does have elements that appear in the video so there's that. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Jeremy woke up in a panic, gasping for air and trying to bat his blanket off of himself. It felt like he was suffocating, being strangled by the sheets, and there was a distinct sense of dread that filled him to the brim. 

 

_ I’m going to improve your life, Jeremy, if I have to take over the entire student body to do it! _

 

The thought haunted Jeremy to this day, the regret of everything he had done crashing into him most nights. Every time it happened, Jeremy just laid in his bed, unable to sleep again, staring out the window and waiting for the sun to rise.

 

He was lucky nowadays if he got three hours of sleep.

 

It was in these early hours of the morning that Jeremy’s finger hovered over the call button on his phone, wanting desperately to reach out to his best friend. But what would he say?  _ Remember that time I betrayed you and everyone else for popularity? Well, it haunts my every moment and the only time I feel any semblance of normalcy is when I’m with you so can you just talk to me for a minute? _ Like that would go over well at all.

 

Jeremy considered himself lucky that Michael talked to him at all. It took a lot of apologizing, grovelling, and talking about their feelings, but Jeremy and Michael were starting to feel normal again. There was no way that Jeremy could sacrifice that just because he was having some bad thoughts.

 

Laying back down, Jeremy stared at the ceiling, trying to quiet his brain in a futile attempt to go back to sleep. The only solace he had was in the fact that it was the weekend, so there was no fear of being dead on his feet at school. The downside of that, of course, was that there was no guarantee that he would see Michael today, which could mean drowning in his thoughts for over twenty four hours.

 

Eyes falling back to his phone, Jeremy thought yet again about calling. But the voice in his head told him that it was a pointless idea, that calling would only drive Michael away.

 

And then the phone started to vibrate.

 

“What the fuck?” Jeremy mumbled to himself, eyes widening as he realized it was Michael’s caller info on the screen. Scrambling upright, he picked up the phone. “Michael?”

 

“Hey, Jere!” Michael said, sounding a little bit hyper. Far too alert for someone this early in the morning. “I’m glad you’re up! Come outside.”

 

“Michael, what the fuck?” Jeremy muttered into the receiver, already standing up to grab some sweatpants. “Why are you up this early?”

 

“I could ask you the same thing, Jerebear. Just come outside!” Before Jeremy could get another word in, Michael hung up. Sighing, Jeremy made his way downstair, making sure he had his keys. Michael was standing outside by his car. “Took you long enough.”

 

“What are you doing here, Michael?” Jeremy asked, stifling a yawn. “It’s like three in the morning.”

 

“You’re up anyway, and I was bored, so come on! Let’s walk around the neighborhood or something,” Michael was clearly deflecting the question, which caused Jeremy to give him a pointed look. Sighing, Michael looked away from Jeremy. “Was having trouble sleeping is all. Wanted to see my best bro.”

 

Jeremy put his hand on Michael’s shoulder. “I couldn’t sleep either,” he admitted softly. “I was actually thinking about calling you.”

 

Michael seemed to brighten at that, grabbing Jeremy’s hand and dragging him down the block away from his house. He finally let go when they reached the park a few streets away. “We used to play here all the time, remember?”

 

“Yeah, I remember,” Jeremy said, voice still soft. The tiredness he was feeling before was subsiding some, and the lonely thoughts that were filling his head previously seemed to have vanished. There was still an underlying sense of guilt, however, so when they sat down on the swings, Jeremy turned to his best friend. “You know I’m really sorry, right?”

 

“Yes, Jere. We go over this all the time. I’m not mad at you anymore,” Michael said, looking Jeremy right in the eyes. “I haven’t been mad at you for a while now.”

 

“I know, I just…” Jeremy trailed off, turning away again. He could still feel Michael’s eyes on him, however, so he tried to continue. “I worry about it, about  _ us _ , sometimes. I feel like I’m going to do something terrible again and then I’ll lose you completely! And then I’ll be on my own and you’ll be gone and there will be no one who…”

 

Michael reached over and grabbed Jeremy’s hand, forcing Jeremy to look at his best friend. “No one who what, Jeremy?”

 

“No one who can ease my mind, who can pull me up when I fall into my mind and feel like I’m losing all my sanity. And I know it’s not fair to put all of this on you it’s just… Only you can ease my mind.”

 

There was a silent tension between the two of them for a moment. Jeremy closed his eyes and felt Michael withdrawing his hand. Jeremy held back tears, knowing in his soul this would be the moment that Michael left him and the voices would take over. What he didn’t expect was Michael’s arms to wrap around him.

 

“Jere, I need you to listen to me, okay?” Michael said softly into his ear. “I’m going to be here for you, always. And I know you’re gonna be here for me, too. The guilt wouldn’t still be eating you up if you were just going to leave me again, now would it?” Jeremy mumbled a soft “No,” into Michael’s shoulder. “Exactly. And, just so you know, you’re the only one who can ease my mind, too. I’d be lost without you.”

 

“You mean it?”

 

Michael pressed a soft kiss into his friend’s shoulder. “Of course I mean it. I love you, Jere.”

 

“I love you, too, Micha,” Jeremy said, tightening his grip on Michael. “God, how I love you.”

 

The two boys pulled away, looking at each other for a moment. There was a tension between them again, but this time it was something different. Both boys found themselves leaning in slowly, when finally Michael whispered into the space between them, “Can I?”

 

Jeremy nodded, and Michael slowly closed the gap between them, first with a light kiss, then with something deeper. There was no urgency in the kiss, no flashes of heat and desires for  _ more _ . There was just a deep love in the kiss, a feeling of security and warmth and  _ home _ .

 

When they pulled away, both blushing slightly, Michael took Jeremy’s hand once more and started leading him back to his house. Once returning Jeremy to his home, Michael kissed him again quickly before returning to his car. As Jeremy got back into bed, he felt content.

 

Sleep came easily.

 

His mind was finally at ease.


End file.
